Delivorring just abuot the same amount of violence as television, but a hellof allot less sex.
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Then Granfather said to the driver, "STICK AROUND THAR'S PLENNY WHISKY AT THIS HERE PARTY," and he also said, (loud enuogh for poor Uncle Will to hear), that as soon as Willy kicks off, (which shoud be soon), to feel free to go thruogh his pockets to get his fee.
I was so hoummiliated that a stranger had to be exposed to such strife and hatred in my familly. Uncle William grasped my shirt with his tiny withored fist and with strenghth that supprized me for a man so close to death, pulled himself up to peer in my face.
The thing that was on his mind was the legal ownorship of that item I wrote about beffore which is a point of contention between the brothors: A small crown-shaiped pot-metol bumper atachment that Granfather stole from the Duke of Windsor's royal car back in 1960. Suposedly Granfather traded it to Uncle Will a few years back, but then on a visit to his house, Gramps stole it back from him.
"I want thet thar crown! Git it for me, boy!" my uncle whispored. It broke my heart, but i had to say to poor Uncle Will that as soon as Granfather made that necklace out of it two months ago, ITS BEEN MISSING.
The old basterd also seemed a bit supprised at the whole thing.
"I DONE PAID FER THEM GREENS WITH CYBER-CASH," the bastord mused half aloud.
"I'D O'THUNK ANY RESULTANT FUMES I'D MAKE WOULD BE CYBER-GAS."
"It's rancid Iceberg lettuce allright," he told me, "but a species from eons in the future."
Blankenship put his hand ovor the telephone receiver and, practicaly in tears, went on to say in a very sombor voice that we shoud hide the box of rotted greens because if the old basterd ate the rest of it, our lives might be at risk. Somtimes i wondor if these guys arent eithor ovorly drammatic or else as full of crap as Granfather.
Meanwhile, Granfather luaghed and laughed and rudely made fun of Blankenship's accent becuase he is from Scotland. If you ever come to our house, and you have an acent, WATCH OUT becuase Granfather will make fun of it in a more deadly accurrate way than you might of thoght.
We used to have a septic system here, but its charred remmains due to one old maniac's summer-long addiction to a new diet of strictley dairy and high-fat spicy foods have renderred it inopperable. And so, we received a grant from the State, the County, and the EPA to build a new $8,000 poured cement cesspool abbout 20 feet from the house. Well this thing now had a crack in the cemment and brown stinkey waste now bubbled up from it. But it looked like onlyt minor damage, and so we werent very worried abbout it. At least I was not worreid. Perhapps in retrospect i shoud of been.
However, this added odor was somwhat tolerable to party guests, mainly because Granfather himself actualy smells worce than any cesspool coud ever smell; Even his own cespool, if you can immagine that. I cant explian it but its true.
The cemment blocks must of scraiped along making sparks and the can was just a tiny bit filled and so was mostly full of flammoble vapour. So it blew like a loud bomb.
I was not having a good time and so I went in my room and logged on my e-mail. I saw that there were allot of notes from the domain of the new compeny i work for, 'Cyberblop'. There were like, 40 messages from all kind of peoplle at the company. At first I was pleased becuase I had asummed that NOW FINALLY I had access to their danm internal network.
It was a note from my boss, and it was abbout:
All the rest of the notes were carbon-coppies, of all of my co-workors makin fun of me behind my back.
The one from my boss had a subject line of:
READ ME FIRST
...and it read in part:
Mr. Miller, You are the biggest screwup it has been my priviledge to work with. Of course I mean that affectionately ;-) Here is what your co-workers throughout Cyberblop are saying about your Catfish Cam idea.
What a jerk. In the first line alone he spelt "privilege" wrong plus he ended the sentance with a preposition. OK, I am no great spellor, but this guy is somones's boss, for cryin out loud. Plus he is only like, 26 which is way to young to be somone's boss aneyway.
I have to tell you my feelings were hurt. There is nothing that hurts more that peoplle saying things behind your back to make fun of you, and then when you end up hearing whan they said--or in this case, reading 40 exampols of a buletin board thread that everyone knew i coud not see, and was not a part of.
Now I too ended a sentence with a prepposition but you know what i dont give a danm.