Top 10 Subjects of Wedgie Related E-mail

My Wedgie-related email numbered in the thuosands in the past year. (Of course 90% of its from the same 7 or 8 people if you can belive that--Yes theres lots of SICK FOLK out there on the web. Read on).

So, Please, read, and enjoy, in no particulor ordor:


Dear Walter: Why do you like wedgies?

First, I DONT like them. Ive got many in my life but never gave any. Im not 'hung up' on them but Ive recieved them and THATS why i talk abuot them. Its sort of like the guy who got hit by the train: I didnt ask for it, Im not happy it hapenned, but if you too got hit by a train then this is the place to to help you lift and raise, to base, to buttress and entrench your selfesteam.

Also this site does not encouroge wedgies, it DIScourages them. There painful, houmiliating, and weve all heard stories of people gettin injured. Remember, over age 13 in most states you can be treid as an adult for assault in the courts no kidding. As ive said this time honorred tradition shoud always be REMEMBORED but NEVER PRACTICED.


The sons of Sheen

Much of my mail concerns the part of the originol Wedgie page where I mention the scene in the movie The Breakfast Club.

Many have written to tell me that its EMILIO ESTEVEZ who cried in shame uppon reflecting on how he hurt the other boy with the hairy ass by taping his cheeks togethor after a lockerroom wedgie, not CHARLEY SHEEN.

Upon reflecting myself ive descided to KEEP it in the Wedgie Page as Charlie Shean--He is the one whose a wiseass in real life and probly deserves to cry. Think abbout it: Between the 2 brothers, you KNOW Charlie is the Wedgie Giver and he probly gave wedgies to the poor, much more likable Emilio when they were kids.

And you know their touchy-feely father Martin isnt the type to have sevverely disiplined Charly enuogh. So what the hell. My Home Page is full of typoes and grammaticol errers. Who cares if also a historrical fact or two is wrong. Epsecialy involving Hollywood.

"Alweys practice Safe Wedgies?" Hmmm.

I feel somwhat uncomfortble with the whole concept of 'Safe' anything that has its inherint risks. For exampol so-called 'safe wedgies'. Ecxuse me for morralizing, but the whole idea that:

'The kids are going to do it ANEYWAY so we might as well tell them how to do it safely' just plain wrong for people who are still biologicly developping into an adult. Take for example my compoulsive shoplifting grandfather, who is still biologicly evolving into a human. Its sort of like the state of Texas providing him with a list of stores where hes less likely to get cought stealin whisky and Slimjims--cause after all THE OLD BASTERDS GONNA DO IT ANYWAY.

Therefore, concerning wedgies, and to be consistent with #10 above, I always agree with "JUST SAY NO" as oposed to "DO IT SAFE." You may disagree. But Ive seen the 'dark side' of wedgies 'rear' its ugly head probly more than you.

Fetid Fetishists

This covors all requests for: Pictures of woman givin wedgies to men (or to other womon); people who want errotic wedgie stories; and those who want me to foward there e-mails to woman who will give them wegdies either in person or on the phone or in chat.

What the hell can I say. Dammit Im not runnin Biannca's Smut Shack here (and NO i dont know her URL). In fact im not even runnin an adult site. Indeed its just the oposite: if you dont know by now the Wedgie Page is a pretty damn childish site, Id think. Sorry also Im not a matchmakin service. I cant even find a girlfrend and I have NORMOL tastes.

Wedgie Stats

Oh, those MIT and Caltech readers; those math majjoring Whoupies and Arpies (from WPI and RPI) who need those STATS. Specificly: HOW many Wedgies Ive ever gotten, plus my lifetime ratio of wedgies given & received.

Well, Ive never GAVE WEDGIES--i only GOT them.

Lifetime estamate: 800; roughly 2 a week for 6 years from ages 9 to 14. Also 1 or 2 a year from my brother, and about 20 a year from Granfather, (which contineus to this day). But mostly my humilaition came from a rogues gallory of local bullies. Which brings us to #5...

The list contineus